What not to say to people who are grieving:
Well, at least she lived a long life … so many others die young.
I know how you feel (and then continue telling the person about a grief you had in the past)
Aren’t you over him/her yet?
Only the good die young.
She was such a good person, God wanted her to be with him.
Everything happens for a reason.
I thought you would be more upset.
At least you have other children.
You’re looking so well …
She wouldn’t want you to be so sad.
Your grief is holding his or her spirit back – so you need to let go.
You’re still young – there’s time to meet someone else.
He/she is in a better place.
He/she brought this on him/herself.
Don’t let your children see you sad.
You need to put this behind you.
Ignore what has happened and not say anything.
Some ideas of what to say to someone grieving:
I am sorry for your loss.
I’m not sure what to say – just know I care.
My favourite memory of him/her is …
Just hug the person.
You’re looking well – but how are you feeling.
I am just a phone call away …
Would you like me to mow your lawn / take your dog for a walk etc (offering specific help, rather than just saying call me if you need me …)
It’s so hard to lose someone you love.
Just be with the person – sometimes there are no words to be said.